Babylost

Babylost

 

that’s what they call us

invisible mothers and fathers who have birthed death

 

the word surfaced to fill the void left by language

in a culture that has no label for us

not so much because the measure of our loss is less

but because they do not know how to look us in the eye,

or speak our names

 

Babylost.

the baby is lost.

not I lost the baby like I lost my carkeys but

a switching of subject and object—

the baby is lost to me

my baby is lost to me

I am lost to my baby

 

I am lost.

 

Loss:

the act of losing possession, or

the harm resulting from, or

the state of being without something one has had, or

death.

 

what is life now

where do I begin

who am I without the baby

 

Lost.

A babylost mama, they call me

in the underground online,

the club I never asked to join.

an identity, a definition, to wrap myself in

 

I have a word now.

That is where I begin.

 

© Burning Eye

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4 thoughts on “Babylost

  1. Lisa says:

    Beautiful and so tragic. But being babylost means you aren’t alone. You’ve discovered a whole world of other families who are also attemtping to navigate this life where our babies are lost to us. Feel free to message me if you ever want a chat or a rant.

    Lisa ♥

  2. Angie says:

    It is a word that seems to transcend time, afterall babyloss has happened in the earliest of stories, but still it is only a few years old. It fills a need…I am lost without my baby. I am lost in this world where babies die, and no one talks about it. Love to you. xo

  3. there is no “oh, how i agree, and, btw, your words are both eloquent and touching” button, and “like” just wasn’t the right word to describe my response. ❤ to you

  4. So very completely, overwhelmingly lost.

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