that’s what they call us
invisible mothers and fathers who have birthed death
the word surfaced to fill the void left by language
in a culture that has no label for us
not so much because the measure of our loss is less
but because they do not know how to look us in the eye,
or speak our names
the baby is lost.
not I lost the baby like I lost my carkeys but
a switching of subject and object—
the baby is lost to me
my baby is lost to me
I am lost to my baby
I am lost.
the act of losing possession, or
the harm resulting from, or
the state of being without something one has had, or
what is life now
where do I begin
who am I without the baby
A babylost mama, they call me
in the underground online,
the club I never asked to join.
an identity, a definition, to wrap myself in
I have a word now.
That is where I begin.
© Burning Eye